I love a good story. Fortunately, they’re everywhere.
We grow up listening to bedtime stories, our ancestors used oral storytelling to explain and teach and our Prime, Netflix and Hulu streaming addictions are ALL tied to stories. Hollywood’s blood is the scriptwriter’s tale.
A story can be a powerful educator, a source of inspiration or persuasion. UNICEF and other agencies have used stories for years to change attitudes and beliefs about dowry, educating girls and domestic violence around the world.
But what about our informal stories?
These stories aren’t necessarily funny, but they conform to our beliefs about the world and our place in it. They can include stereotypes and assumptions. Often, they’re underscored by fear or a warning.
“Starving artist”: don’t become an artist, you won’t survive
“Nice guys finish last”: being a nicer person won’t get you ahead
And what about the stories we create, ourselves?
“I can’t leave this job. The pension/pay/benefits are too good.”
“I can’t go back to school, I’m too old/it’s too expensive/I don’t have time.”
And my personal favorite…
“I can’t find a date. There are no good men left.”
I call B.S.
For every limiting story—because that’s what they are—there’s someone breaking from the script. Every. Day.
Albert Einstein started his career as a patent examiner at the Swiss Patent Office. Had he stayed for the pension, we may not have the Theory of Relativity, nuclear fission and other scientific advances, today.
Alice Thomas graduated from law school at age 79…AND she got hired upon graduation.
Gloria Steinem got hitched to David Bale (Christian Bale’s dad) at age 66.
No doubt, our stories can be powerful. So powerful they can dictate and drive our aspirations and career choices, our love choices, and how we envision what’s possible. They lock us in, like seatbelts, into staying right where we are.
“The words you speak become the house you live in.” –Hafiz
I’ve been giving this a lot of thought. I don’t know about you, but while my house is beautiful, it could use more closet space...a pool would be great. How can you bust out of your life and grow in dynamic ways if your stories won’t allow it?
Because stories explain our beliefs and beliefs are the precursors to intention, behavior, aspiration, all the super-rich good stuff we must harness to bring our dreams and goals into reality.
If we don’t believe we can have the great job, land a wonderful date, live in the stunning Spanish-style home with a view…it ain’t happening, sister.
There’s a sad part to stories and an amazing part.
The sad part: We set limits on ourselves unconsciously by following these scripts penned by our grandparents’ parents and passed down like bad china or passed on by someone else who was too frightened to reach for what they really wanted. They got scared, were hurt or someone else told them a story. It’s a sad cycle. And one we owe it to ourselves to break.
Now, the amazing part: We can change our stories! Just one precursor: we’ve gotta know them, first.
As I like to say, as long as there’s life, there’s hope. If your heart is still pumping, you can change your story. And that, my dear friends, can be the first step in changing your life.
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