I was recently on a call with a client who scored a big breakthrough.
“It’s not that I didn’t believe networking was smart. I do it all the time for my job, but I hesitated to use it for my search.
So many people are following up and offering assistance…it’s not what I expected.”
Networking is powerful.
So why don't we flex this “human resource” we ALL possess? What fears leave us hesitating to reach out? What networking myths do you need to ditch to fast-track your progress?
Myth 1: I don’t have a network
I hear this most commonly from young professionals, shy personalities and clients who’ve recently relocated.
It’s just not true. It’s a perception that’s based in a self-limiting belief and often tied to the discomfort we anticipate we'll feel chatting up acquaintances.
Everyone has a network. Here are some places to start:
Where did you grow up? Where did you go to school? Every high school, university and community college has an alumni network. As a former student, you’re a part of this community. Find out where local chapters meet (many are doing so online) and join in.
Where have you worked? Where are your former colleagues today? Be curious. You’re embarking in a new direction--all the more reason to reach out. It's likely they have updates to share, too.
Where do you live? Who are your neighbors? Local business owners? Weak ties – people who don’t even qualify as acquaintances – are especially valuable. A simply conversation with a neighbor can be the entre to a completely new network. Research shows this is particularly true during work transitions.
Where do you spend your non-work time? Gym, yoga or fitness classes? Volunteering? Mosque, synagogue, church? All networks for connection.
What other extracurriculars do you engage in? What about your kids? Your friends? Art classes, community book clubs, outdoors clubs, sports, language classes, meetups, travel?
If you’re actively seeking a new role or exploring new avenues, share it. As one client beautifully put it: “This is not the time to hold back about my interests.”
Myth 2: Networking is all small talk, inauthentic and self-serving
“You Get What You Give” is more than a rock song from the late 90’s; it’s also truth.
We’ve all encountered conversational “climbers”: Personalities who view networking as a numbers game. The truth is more powerful--Networking is about authenticity first and foremost.
Professionals who are genuine, want to form an honest connection and be helpful are everywhere. I’m sure you’re one of them.
So come prepared for these conversations. Research who you’ll be meeting and their organization. Look into conference or event attendees who’ve RSVP’d. Have questions, then be ready to listen and share.
One powerful tactic is closing conversations with a generous question: How can I be of support to you?
Reflect and embody what you value and then hold on—the energy you put into networking will come back to you ten-fold.
Myth 3: I don’t have anything to offer
Out of the way, self-doubt!
Everyone has something to offer. Your network, for one. Often we don’t know what challenges our new contacts are grappling with, but your conversation may reveal a few.
Are they looking for a sharp copywriter? A smart IT professional? A reliable dogsitter?
Resist making assumptions that your contacts aren’t “the right” ones. Offer introductions and let them decide what’s best.
Beyond your contacts, you also have knowledge and experience. Even as a young professional, your education has exposed you to valuable insights about emerging trends or current research that older professionals haven't read or seen, yet.
When in doubt, try opening up. Some of the best networking conversations are those that veer into the personal because they can spark an even deeper connection.
This approach revived a lunchtime conversation I had with a new contact a few years ago that was beyond awkward.
Despite my efforts to ask thoughtful questions, she seemed to struggle with replies and gave only brief answers. I didn’t realize at the time how politically charged her department was. What came across as awkwardness was actually caution.
We were nearing the end of our time together when I opened up and shared plans to hike with my rescue pup over the weekend. It turned out that she was a “dog mom," too. From here, our conversation shifted dramatically.
I was shocked when she proposed going hiking sometime and this awkward first conversation ultimately produced a friendship. She was a key confidante while I worked in government, too.
If you're struggling to keep a conversation afloat, stay flexible and trust the process. There may be dynamics or considerations you're not aware of.
Myth 4: If I network and my boss finds out, I’m done.
There was a time when I suffered under a toxic boss and limited professional conversations out of fear. I didn’t want my networking to get back to her and threaten my job.
Here’s the truth: Toxicity rarely occurs in a vacuum. If you’re dealing with a difficult colleague or supervisor, it’s likely others in your organization or industry are aware. This could actually amplify their willingness to help.
So don't curb your community-building efforts. Instead, practice diplomacy, soft-pedal any criticisms and approach networking as a professional development strategy. You're building new contacts to learn, grow and strengthen your community.
After all, new relationships can lead to new collaborations or business for your organization as well as new opportunities for you.
By serving as a "connector" and seeking to learn from others, you're demonstrating a growth mindset, which is an asset for both you AND your team.
Myth 5: My timing is bad. I don’t feel confident. I won’t present well.
Time for a reframe. What else is possible?
What if your contact is in desperate need of someone with exactly your skills, qualifications and interests? What if their boss is? What if their best friend is?
You won't know unless you show up, even in a less-than-perfect state.
This is, in fact, how I landed one of my “dream” roles: A casual coffee meeting with a new contact. At the time, I was frustrated and bored at work. I almost cancelled the meeting because it was on a Saturday and my mood was still low from the work week.
But something made me show up. And to this day, I'm so glad I did.
Over a single latte we learned how much our professional interests overlapped. They overlapped a lot.
Then she dropped a bomb: She was leaving her position. She hadn't announced her intention, but the next role was in-hand. In her words—“you’d be an ideal replacement.” Boom.
Needless to say, this changed the trajectory of my day and the intervening season.
Maybe your last project wasn’t the award-winning campaign you led a year ago. Maybe your promotion is a few years old. So what. Your accomplishments are still yours. Own them!
Networking is a skill that gets easier with time. I’ve witnessed this with clients who’ve avoided networking for years. They’re surprised when simple conversations result in exciting leads and offers. Networks are powerful. Bust past these myths and watch your opportunities expand.
Comments