“It’s tempting and if they’d asked me 6 months ago, I KNOW what my answer would be.”
Over generous pours of pinot noir and Thai takeout, my brilliant and ambitious friend unloaded her conundrum.
After enduring difficult early years in her corporate career, she was now thriving. Finally aligned with an employer who saw the mad creative talent she possessed, she was leading a team to achievements that were garnering attention. With a recent resignation, a path was cleared for her progression to the C-suite. Allies in high places were advocating for her.
This was her chance to leap ahead. The hesitation?
In 2021 she launched a side-hustle creating hand-crafted products she LOVED. It started as a modest business that friends and family supported. Within the past quarter she'd found a corporate client and launched a membership service. Her side-gig was taking root. To take the promotion could mean less energy and space for her side-hustle.
When we arrive at these professional crossroads, the decision-making can feel heavy--as if this is our ONE chance to leap and soar…if only we make the right choice.
How to navigate these choices? Here are a few strategies to help.
Set Aside your Ego and Tune In
Over dessert, I asked my friend: Which route is captivating your heart?
Without question, it was her business. It was a connection to her culture, it allowed her to work with her hands and flex the same creative skills she used in her day job. Dedicating weekends, evenings and the occasional lunchbreak to her side biz didn’t feel like a sacrifice. It fueled her. And clearly this energy was also elevating her performance at work.
I’ve seen this outcome repeatedly among clients practicing a hybrid business model (FT work + a side gig). While it’s NOT an easy route—you’re giving up “free time” to your passion—the feedback loop that’s created can be a powerful one. You have a longer runway and can afford to have fun and test out different business options with less fear and uncertainty.
My friend had found a sweet spot. The promotion wasn’t as attractive as the flexibility her current role afforded her to continue nurturing her passion. When she tuned into her heart, the answer became clear—pass on the promotion.
What does your heart have to say about the new opportunity facing you? Check your ego: Is your excitement tied to a pay raise or title change or are there real aspects to this opportunity that inspire you? Is this a new challenge that raises your heart rate?
Consider and then Commit
When we encounter growth opportunities that align with our dreams, it can feel monumental. Perhaps you’ve been offered a scholarship to take up a new course of study, a position in a new field or industry or an opportunity to step away from the 9-5 to launch your own business (hello 6-10!).
Oftentimes, we believe we can think our way to the best option. Our logical minds kick into overdrive—what are the pros and cons? What will I need to invest? How much time and effort is involved? How might it backfire? What could I lose?
While reflective work has its role, too much concentrated thinking can lead to self-sabotage. Our minds are wired to focus disproportionately on the negative. Left unguided, the brain is like the worst, crankiest pessimist who just walked into a door—“Why the HELL would you quit this well-paying job? What if the new job is worse!? What if you fail?”
With excessive thinking, we can get fixated on avoiding the “wrong path” and hinder action. Often it is in taking action that we learn, grow and ultimately, gain clarity.
Give yourself a deadline to decide. Reflect, write and discuss your options and then GO.
Channel your Inner Champion
When confronting dualing opportunities, self-doubt can be sneaky and rise up in a powerful way -- especially when we're tired, frustrated or stressed.
Self-doubt likes to direct our attention to alllllll the times when we supposedly failed—failed ourselves, failed others, dropped the ball—did a “poor job” or otherwise revealed our human imperfection (Gasp!) by failing to do something perfectly.
“Why did you even try?” it asks. Like the Imposter (learn more about this bugger here), self-doubt is fueled by our insecurities NOT reality. It wants us to stay put where it’s safe and not venture into the world where we can grow, leap and…flourish!
No matter what historic fails you’ve endured, what missteps you’ve made, life is cycling constantly. We’re ALL changing. Every moment. You’re not the same person you were last year or last week. Neither am I. Time for a reframe.
Thomas Edison famously said: I’ve not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
Channel your inner champion instead. What would your best and most confident advocate say? Shift your perspective and assume the viewpoint of your biggest fan or best friend. How would they react to you taking on a new opportunity? Try journaling or a walk and visualize their responses.
Other questions to consider: What related experience from your past shows your strengths? Where have you found the greatest rewards and satisfaction? What have you endured and overcome? What’s exciting you? What are you hesitant of? Imagine your friend is the one with the opportunity—They’re your friend, you believe in them! What would be a bold move that aligns with their priorities? Do they have a history of making amazing things happen? All the more reason to lean in and GO!
You Can (Almost) Always Go Back
Although our minds tend to focus on extremes, many choices don’t close the door on others. It just means we’re placing our attention and energies in a new realm. We may decide to stay long-term, or we may change course. In most industries, your prior experience and knowledge will remain pertinent for years.
When considered through this lens, what’s the true risk of changing course? If you know you can go back, why not afford yourself this chance to explore something new?
This was a considerable driver in my decision to become a business owner. My skills and training in research and public health haven’t disappeared and the need for professionals with my skills doesn’t appear to be lessening. If you can always go home, why not step out into the world and pursue a few new vistas? I can say for myself, it’s been exhilarating!
Check Your Values & Then Create Leverage
What’s most important to you in this life’s time? Where do you find meaning? Where do you find joy? What would you regret not having created, experienced or grown during your life?
Values are like our North Star—they guide us to destinations where we’re more likely to thrive, find meaning and fulfillment. Reconnecting with our values helps us see if a new direction actually aligns with what we prioritize and treasure.
When I embarked on business ownership, autonomy was a key value I was honoring. I found it lacking for years in the jobs I held where decision-making involved layers of review and approval. Understanding this helped me move forward with greater clarity and confidence.
In making a tough decision, consider: Which choice compliments or best embodies my values? Is one more in alignment than another? Which values are missing or less represented in a given option? Could I still find meaning and reward in this direction? Take your time and be as honest as you can with yourself.
Create leverage by exploring what regrets you might encounter down the road for NOT taking the bigger risk. Imagine what it will be like 5 years or 10 years from now if NOTHING changed? If you remained on the same path and nothing shifted. How would you feel?
Okay, now what if you took this leap and EVERYTHING changed? Free your emotions and imagination -- what choice is now the most appealing?
Trust Yourself & In Abundance
In truth, life is a series of decisions. New opportunities can feel rare and precious, but with an abundance mindset, we’re assured that there are always more opportunities on the way.
Remember, you’ve made tough choices before; there may be some you even wish you could reverse. Learn from them! Trust you have everything you need to make the best choice now. You will.
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