Ever feel like a fraud? Unqualified? Unworthy of a promotion, a new job or prestigious opportunity? It can feel as if you’re living behind a mask—your real self, hidden or disguised from the outside world.
I was a first-year doctoral student at the University of Michigan and I had a fellowship that was primo: funding, few research duties and an office. It even had a door. I had won the grad school lottery without seemingly purchasing a ticket.
Weekly, fellows attended brown bag lunches where we’d hear from an expert about their cutting-edge research in some far-flung corner of the world. I loved hearing about their experiences, their travel and findings, which were notably impressive and inspiring.
While other students posed brilliant questions, I remember nibbling on my lunch and wishing I could will myself invisible. I felt completely in over my head and unqualified to sit in the room, let alone weigh in on this rock-star research. I was sure a mistake had been made and a different student was the intended recipient of my good fortune.
But I did belong. What I needed was time to gain confidence and get over my Imposter.
The Imposter
The Imposter Syndrome is a nagging feeling of self-doubt and fraudulence that what you’ve achieved, received or been awarded was not earned. It was an accident. An error. An oversight.
By some estimates, up to 70% of adults have experienced the Imposter Syndrome. It’s especially common among women, minorities, high-achievers and those launching new chapters. Starting a new career? New degree? New business? You may be at higher risk of feeling moments of deep self-doubt and unworthiness.
Some psychologists believe the Imposter Syndrome is more common among high-achievers who neglect to internalize their accomplishments. The theory being, if you took enough time to celebrate and savor what you overcame to reach this achievement, you’d actually own it. The opportunities before you and letters after your name wouldn’t feel accidental. They’d feel earned.
For me, the Imposter was a like a roommate with a boyfriend. She wasn’t always around. She’d drop in when I was surrounded by experts, the more experienced or scientists from other fields. I was comparing myself to others in an apples-to-A1 sauce kind of way. We weren’t even in the same aisle of the grocery store.
Ready for a little irony?
Because the Imposter Syndrome is tied to self-doubt and fear of exposure, those suffering are very unlikely to admit it. As a result, we don’t truly know how common it is and if we're suffering, we often do so alone. We don't lean on others for outside input or perspective. We need to talk about it.
Perfection’s Role
Turns out that the Imposter Syndrome doesn’t always operate alone. Perfectionism can fuel it. Perfectionists tie their accomplishments to their self-worth and can be pretty brutal critics of themselves. This creates an ideal environment for the Imposter Syndrome to thrive. Who sets a higher standard than someone aiming for flawless?? We gotta give ourselves a break.
However, there is one setting where the Imposter Syndrome can be triggered due to external circumstances: instances of institutionalized discrimination.
Racism. Sexism. Homophobia. Transphobia. Anywhere a group of people are subject to biased beliefs and stereotypes that justify their being held back by those in the dominant group is discrimination. When this is evidenced throughout an organization, it’s institutionalized discrimination.
In these settings, Imposter Syndrome isn’t just in your head. It’s visible in the actions, statements or non-verbal behavior of others who don’t believe you belong.
But they’re wrong. You do belong.
Navigating settings where discrimination is embedded in the organizational culture can take tremendous courage, tenacity and self-confidence. If you find yourself working in a discriminatory environment, consider consulting with a professional on the outside—a trusted mentor, a lawyer or HR professional who isn’t affiliated with your employer. Get advice and guidance. You deserve acceptance, respect and nothing less.
Now that we know what the Imposter Syndrome looks like, we can better recognize it when it arrives in the room: an important first step. Whenever we’re stretching into something new, there’s vulnerability and discomfort as we step outside our “comfort zone.” Getting past the Imposter is a key in owning this space, our rightful place in it and acting on our desire to grow.
How can you side-step the Imposter Syndrome and avoid self-sabotage that slows progress? Check out next week’s article where we delve into strategies to diminish and ultimately evict your Imposter.
You DO have control and can soften the self-doubt. Learn how next week!
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