If you’re between jobs or actively on the search, a chipped self-image, bluesy feelings and sluggish energy can sabotage all the goodness you're trying hard to foster.
Neuroscience shows that obsessively negative thought patterns are easy to slip into and then become our default. We’re literally hard-wired to notice the negative. Unfortunately, this only draws more of the same into our lives. Just as when we’re late to an important meeting, we hit every light, our low gas light comes on and construction sites, abound. Our anxiety only worsens matters.
But it can feel hollow and unrealistic to be advised to “just think positive” when your life seems to be whirlpooling down a very large drain. I know. I’ve been there.
When I graduated with my PhD and relocated to the West Coast, I spent some very long, very hard, very dark days on the job search. Had I known what I was stepping into, I might’ve reconsidered. As it was, I transitioned from feeling like I had crested Mt. Everest to feeling like an utter failure. For months, I networked, applied to positions and was repeatedly overlooked. I suffered daily from a loss of identity that adjoined my unemployment and felt generally at sea—lost, lonely and deeply frustrated by what seemed like a lack of progress.
I did survive it. And you will too. It’s one of the top reasons I started Blooming Lotus Lab. Because sticking with it, hanging in there and holding on DID lead to something marvelous and invaluable: Watertight faith in myself.
But how to cope in the here-and-now? Read ahead for strategies to raise your mood and strengthen your resilience in body and mind.
1. Social Support: Got friends? Real friends or reliable family? Lean on them. These are not the folks that are scared and fearful and say repeatedly, “this is really bad” or second-guess your situation. No. These are the confident, loving, unconditionally supportive people who say “I’m sorry it sucks. I believe in you. How can I help?” They empathize and then take your mind off of things. If you’re an extrovert, aim to schedule 1-2 calls a week with these people. If you’re an introvert, dedicate time to connecting with good friends online. You can also get a coach. Lending support and cheering you on to greatness is something coaches specialize in. If you’re curious, let’s talk.
2. Exercise: Let’s be mindful here. These are taxing days, so move your body but don’t exercise like you’re training for the Boston Marathon unless you already are. Go for a walk. Do some jumping jacks (remember those?). Pull up some fun dance music on Spotify and shake it out. Exercise that raises your heart rate has been found to blunt the “stress-response” (your physiological reaction to threats real or imagined), it reduces the long-term impact of stress and super charges your mood by pumping beta-endorphins into your system. Good stuff.
3. Breath Work and Meditation: “Following my breath” and “thinking of nothing” is hardly a natural state for me. I’m a multitasker, coffee-drinker and manic-brainstormer. Motion is my default state. But I’ve found meditation a wonderful way to begin the day. Start simple by practicing diaphragm breathing (one hand on your belly, one hand on your heart and breathing deep into your diaphragm) or square breathing (4 seconds in, 4 second hold, 4 second release, 4 second pause) for just 5-10 minutes. I like listening to gentle music and light a few candles for atmosphere. Research shows that meditation can reduce blood pressure and decrease glucocorticoid levels (stress hormones). When you’re panicked, your breathing is shallow and frequent. Deep, slow breathing brings more oxygen into your body and relaxes you. Surprisingly, I’ve also found meditation can lead to great, creative ideas. I’ve had some wonderful ideas slip into my thoughts as gentle as a bird, resting on your shoulder. Wonderful.
4. Bring the Light In: Winter clouds got you down? I called Michigan home for 4 years and for me, the winters were brutal. Weeks of overcast skies lowered my mood and outlook (and built serious cravings for sweets and comfort food). What helped me was an injection of daily “sunshine” in the form of a therapeutic light box. I’d enjoy my morning coffee for 30 minutes every day in front of a 10,000 lux light box and it seriously made a difference. Check out links below for more reading and info.
5. Gratitude: The cynics can exit through the back. This is real. Just as we hit more roadblocks when we’re in a rush, a spirit of gratefulness can foster more opportunity. Write down what impressed you, brought you joy, was beautiful, peaceful, sweet or funny from your day. Share it with a friend or partner or spell it out in your journal—and give a little time to the crises you didn’t encounter. Those count, too. This can be challenging if you’re feeling bluesy, but partner it with meditation (or prayer) and you WILL feel better. Pinkie swear.
6. Visualize: Athletes do it. Renown public speakers do it. Leaders do it. Visualizing or imagining in your mind a future moment when you’ve delivered an MVP performance on the court, given a rousing speech to an adoring crowd or aced the interview preps your mind for such an event. Olympic athletes will walk through their plays step-by-step using visualization and evidence indicates it does help performance. Prepare yourself for that next juicy opportunity by imagining your stellar performance and how sweet it will feel and you’re one step closer to realizing it.
7. Mind your Mindset: Our brains are complex organs that have adapted to help us survive. Neuroplasticity, the brain’s capacity to rewire based on stimuli gives us in-born resilience. However, our natural predilection to notice the negative (Negativity Bias) means we can build mental pathways that reinforce negative thinking and make us more likely to see threats in day-to-day experiences. This hardwired response helps protect us, but in modern life can lead to an over-emphasis on the negative. Notice when your attention and inner voice leans negative or judgmental—what’s the context? Is there another way to frame the experience? With intentional mindfulness and reinterpretations, we can rewire these pathways for greater resilience and positivity.
8. Plan: Globetrotters, it’s been H-A-R-D to be grounded. There is an alternative: Start planning your next big trip now. Research indicates we get measurable pleasure out of planning and looking forward to experiences (more so than purchases). So, get out your guidebooks, google your dream locale (Bali: here I come!) and dig into all the logistics. Plan the restaurants, museums and other adventures you’ll embark on when the world reopens. Want inspo?
Check out Nat Geo’s Photo of the Day: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/photo-of-the-day/
9. Spoil Yourself a Little: Buy a bouquet, a nice smelling candle or luxurious hand cream. Inject some beauty, fragrance and good feeling into your life. We’re not machines and having these reminders in our line of sight and around us do help to raise our mood and our outlook. We’re not on this planet to suffer endlessly. We’re here to grow and savor some of the ride. Bring things into your life that do nothing but make you feel good. You’re worth it.
10. Supplements for Mood: While desserts and fried food may be common food crutches when we’re feeling unhappy, there are alternatives that can help raise your mood longer term. Research indicates that for some people, St. John’s Wort can offset depressive moods, Omega 3 (in fish oil or fatty fish) can reduce inflammation and lower cortisol levels, and Vitamin D and B12 can help boost energy and raise mood. Want to know more? Check out the links below for more info and speak with your primary physician to get the go-ahead, first.
We’re facing more stress and tests of our resilience today than in years past. Reinforce and fortify your inner resources of mind and body by practicing any or many of the strategies listed above.
As always, drop us a line with questions or feedback.
Links for More
Want to read more about these concepts and strategies and the research behind them? We’ve got you. Check out these links for more details and references.
Neuroplasticity: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/neuroplasticity
Light Therapy:
Anticipation & Pleasure Study: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797614546556
Supplements for Depression:
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