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Writer's pictureDr. Kristin

A Valentine to Women Leaders


Heart and hands, love signs, spreading love

This Valentine’s Day let’s spread love to our sister pioneers and leaders who are helping to change the world we share for the better.


Our new Women’s Leadership Book Club will be celebrating some of these female boundary-breakers. Click here for more details.


In our next post, we’ll be featuring a powerhouse female leader and former mentor of mine who embodies a pioneering spirit and has a great heart for elevating other women. Watch for this piece—you won’t want to miss it!


In the spirit of female pioneers, let’s also consider what WE, ourselves can share. What learned experience, mentorship or contacts have enriched your path? Who do you know who needs a dose of encouragement, behind-the-scenes advocacy or a fresh opportunity?


If you work in a competitive field, it can be easy to internalize a mindset of scarcity. And for too long, women have been allocated only select seats at the leadership table.


In 2022, it's time to change the script, build a bigger damn table and demand leadership get on board.


Research has shown that diversity strengthens teams by fostering greater creativity and problem-solving. As we know in science, new breakthroughs are strengthened when research harnesses the minds of a multitude rather than just a few. So why are we still hampered by territorialism, clashing egos, senior leaders who withhold their insights and life lessons?


Women, we MUST be better advocates for one another. How can we foster change faster?

Woman and light, hopeful, positive, advocating

Throw Light

In a position where you oversee junior professionals, students or staff? Make an effort to highlight and praise their achievements to others and in group settings. Outdated definitions of femininity still hinder some women from sharing their success. Let’s be each other’s best advocates by throwing light on what we’re doing well.


Bonus: By praising one another in team meetings, giving credit and celebrating accomplishments we’re also modeling what healthy, collaborative female relationships look like.


Know of a new project team that’s forming? Look out for and share opportunities that may be too junior for you but not for others. Convening a meeting of influential minds? Invite your colleague or mentee along to participate or simply meet new contacts.


Let’s break down the tired work hierarchy, toss off the territorialism and open up possibilities. There’s enough to go around.


Check Your Inner Competitor

Competition has its place and can spur us to achieve. However, in a culture of abundance why are we critical of women who advance, accomplish and achieve success? Why are we not celebrating?


If you find yourself sharpening at the news of another woman’s achievement, ask yourself why. Why is this threatening? Are you judging the legitimacy of her achievement? Sometimes judgement can be an unconscious response to our own fear of failure. A justification for our own choice to play small and stay safe.


Reflect and be honest with yourself. If it’s toxic competition, note it and seek to change your own framework of interpretation. In sabotaging or diminishing another woman’s success, we sabotage ourselves. It’s that simple.


Instead, work on cultivating emotional intelligence and confident leadership in yourself and other women around you. When we live in the land of plenty, one’s advancement is not at another’s disadvantage. Let’s change the tone and illumination around women leaders to validate achievement. Let’s make the workplace a place where ALL are celebrated for their contributions and advances.


woman and city, powerful, leader, succeeding

Ramp Up Resilience

For women and Black, Indigenous and People of Color (BIPOC), self-worth is also crucial to success in the long game. It’s about building a deep confidence in who you are, your value and what you stand for. There will be times when you’re in a setting where you feel invisible, disrespected, ignored or worse. How do you remain calm and stand your ground?


I can still clearly remember an event years ago that tested my resilience. I had been invited to speak on a topic I knew very well. Unfortunately, my hosts—who were not present—were unaware the audience had already received a very similar presentation a week earlier. To make matters worse, I was representing an agency that (unknowingly to me) had recently cast a few political decisions that negatively impacted the audience. Quickly, I became a target for the ire and frustration of nearly 50 people who non-verbally and verbally questioned my authority, credibility and legitimacy. While I did my best to pivot and maintain poise, it was an excruciating experience I was wholly unprepared for.


Resilience is knowing your talents and believing in yourself even when those around you may be calling them into question. Resilience is especially important during the job search, when repeated rejection can lead us to question our capabilities and worthiness. It enables you to recover and move past painful moments or seasons.*


There are strategies to strengthen resilience that we’ll be exploring later this spring. Working with a coach can help. To learn more, click here.


Partner Up

Women can be disadvantaged in group meetings because of our softer voices and reserved communication styles. There’s power in groups! Partner with a colleague and watch out for each other.


If your partner is interrupted during a group discussion, interject. Let others know you want to hear her complete comment before moving ahead. Call out mansplaining and statements that undermine her input. Be the second voice at the table validating her input, ideas and suggestions.


When do you struggle most to speak up? Practice together in advance and provide feedback. Role playing difficult conversations can lay the foundation for greater confidence in the true moment.

Another tactic is to notice who’s not speaking and gently invite their input. Foster community with other female colleagues to inspire one another, lend support or expertise and come together to advocate for what you need. On issues that might be easily dismissed or postponed, a group response can be far more persuasive and effective.


For other strategies, check out this terrific episode from Harvard Business Review's Women At Work podcast.


See Bias? Call It Out

We need and MUST be better at calling out bias in ALL its forms. Bottomline: Unconscious bias and discrimination are alive and well in 2022. It restricts the progression of women and BIPOC. If you have hiring power, pay attention to your own internal expectations and how they shift between candidates and be honest.


Are you expecting or requiring more of women or BIPOC to prove their creds? Questioning their capabilities? Checking all their references?


There IS a double-standard and the only way it’ll be defeated is by calling it out. Are new women hires receiving starting packages equivalent to male counterparts? Are women on your team, in your organization or division receiving opportunities to progress and grow alongside their male colleagues? If not, ask why. Remind others that unconscious bias is not always recognized.


Call out discriminatory language when you hear it. Do not let it slide. This is key to workplace culture change. What language, stories or jokes are being shared? If they’re insulting or offensive do not respond neutrally. Instead hold your ground and reply: “I'm giving you 10 seconds to take back what you just said.”


Cultivating a welcoming work environment is everyone’s job and a serious one. Treat it as such.


woman and light, hopeful, mountains, a leader

Share Your Wisdom

Are you a leader in your industry? Have you succeeded against the odds? Built a winning business or career you're proud of? Magnify the power of your experience by allowing its impact to spread. Share what you know.


As the first female U.S. Secretary of State, Madeline Albright, sharply noted:


“There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women.” Boom. Enough said.


Let’s be part of the sea change and model for our daughters what truly confident, accomplished and elevated leaders do--They lower the ladder of opportunity and nurture great leaders for tomorrow.


Want more? Join us in the Women’s Leadership Book Club or check out these terrific resources on your own:


Female Firebrands by M. Kiner

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1 Comment


meyer405
Feb 17, 2022

I'm embarrassed to admit that I did not think in these terms when I was working and let many opportunities go by. Here's to you women who are in the workplace and put these very good ideas to work.

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