You’re a keen observer and notice details others miss. You have an active mind and enjoy thinking deeply about issues and possibilities. Being in noisy environments with many people exhausts you. You’re an introvert and know that networking is powerful, but practicing it…you'd rather avoid.
Take heart, introvert. The world needs your superpowers of observation, thoughtfulness and creativity. When you're exploring avenues for your next career chapter, there are strategies to build the connections you need with less stress.
Keep it Simple
Navigating new groups is tough and takes extra energy. So keep it easy. Plan 1:1 conversations, instead. Informational interviews or coffee meetings with just one contact can sometimes be more valuable than hurried large networking events. Often there are fewer distractions and potential interruptions and more focused time to connect. Save the group networking for special events like industry meetings or annual conferences. Play to your strengths!
Pick Your Poison...I mean Platform!
Fair to say we’re ALL more comfortable with digital meetings via Zoom and Teams than we were 24 months ago. Thanks pandemic! This can be a win for introverts. Determine if you have a preference and lead with it. Appreciate in-person meetings? We ARE visual beings and gather a lot of data through our eyes and impressions. Do what you can to minimize environmental stressors by proposing a coffeeshop or meeting spot you know will be calm and comfortable. However, if Zoom is less depleting, offer this option first.
Have a Plan
Introverts who are passionate and have a greater purpose are less inhibited and drained when engaging with new contacts, shares Quiet author and introvert expert Susan Cain. Be selective and strategic about who you connect with and come prepared. What’s your purpose for meeting? Get clear about your reasoning. Do research in advance so your questions are thoughtful and dive beneath the surface (your specialty!). It also means planning what you’ll say. How will you introduce yourself? Explain your current role and fields of interest? What do you wish to learn? We can’t script out every interaction, but being clear on what YOU will share, creates more certainty to offset stress.
Buffer Your Meeting With Down Time
Contrary to an extrovert's preference, community building need not be spontaneous. Consider past experience when scheduling your next coffee with a new contact. Does it help to have solitary time ahead of meeting? Decompression or reflective time after? Both? This can mean solo work time in a space that’s quiet and preferably has a door. It could mean planning a shorter interaction so you can take a walk post-meeting and reflect. Schedule accordingly and build in the time you need to store up and refill your energy.
Mind Your Self-talk
The self-doubt and inner critic can get mighty strong during periods of discomfort, when our energy is being taxed. Prepare for this by practicing positive inner talk ahead of your meeting. What would your best friend say to boost you? That you’re incredibly smart, hard-working, an expert, a kind person, a great collaborator who has stellar credentials and quals? That you’re stretching, displaying confidence and practicing courage as the driver of your own career? You’ve done challenging things before and you’ll handle this interaction with poise and calm. Say it. Believe it. Own it.
Stay Calm & Breathe On
Deep breathing exercises (box breathing or diaphragmatic breathing) can be useful strategies to practice before a new meeting. These activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps relax your body, reduce anxiety and funnels more oxygen into your system. All great outcomes! During your conversation, be mindful of your pace when speaking. Are you running short on breath? When stressed, we default to shallow breathing. Take a moment and pause. This is an interaction and it’s shared. Own your half of it by controlling your response and keep breathing.
Set Clear Timeframes
New interactions are taxing on your energy. Schedule meetings at intervals that feel best for you. Is this 1x/month? Every 6 weeks? Every 60 days? You decide. Also, determine the duration in advance and commit to it. Will you meet for 30 minutes? 1 hour? This sets some boundaries you can lean on, knowing exactly when you’ll step out and into a recharge period. Be sure to let your contact know your time limitations, too. This shows respect for their demanding calendar as well as your own.
You took a leap and did something uncomfortable—brilliant!! Reward yourself for investing in new actions. Nurturing and growing your professional community is one of the fastest ways you can reposition yourself for new opportunities. It won’t always be this tough. Introverts CAN become more at ease with community building, but it takes action and getting out there. Honor your growth by treating yourself to an activity or indulgence you wouldn’t normally enjoy. Celebrate your stretch!
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